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I have been meaning to write for so long. I don't know how the last post what a birthday post. I just love my little baby boy so much who is now a 2 year old baby boy. I just can't believe it. Not for a second.
I am the luckiest birth mom in the world. SO lucky. I just want to tell every birth mom that that heart ache that is felt early on is SO worth the beauty and ______ something.... there isn't a word... maybe complete feeling I have. The year after the birth was miserable and painful and so many feelings. I always felt good about adoption but I just now feel the sting is gone.
It is because of my fiance! My last boyfriend-fiance wasn't it. This one is and there is such a peace in my life.
Maybe a few weeks ago my future husband and I were talking.
Time out- I always knew that I would get married in the same pattern that I choose parents for baby boy.
1. I LOVED the first parents i choose but it wasn't right for them. In fact they just announced they are prego again. It seems they never needed to adopt to have children but they needed the experience. We are friends and I am SO grateful for them. They keep my secret lip locked and I love them for that.
2. THe second family- I wanted to have that seamless but it never felt perfect. Doubts always flushing my head and for me red flags. Same with my ex bryce. I wish both of them the best.
3. I always had them going through the back of my head, they were on my mind for 9 months but I never knew how to ask them or talk to them. They floated in and out of my mind. It was God sent.
Same with my lover- God send, and there is just something flawless about my Chris. He is mine for the count and he brings me more love into my heart and more spirit to my soul. I feel SO calm about marrying him.
SO we are getting married! About I would have to say a month ago or 3 weeks we were talking about getting married. He is recently divorced and we aren't able to to go the temple. I wanted to just do it my way and wait it out and wait to have the blessings of marriage. Wait till June 6th 2016. It was grained into my mind. I wanted that date- I wanted to be a bride for my life and marry in June like the song says from 7 brides for 7 brothers. Silly, I know but once I have my mind set, it is set and hard to change. SO the Lord worked his magic. We talked about a different month and then bam- 8.15.15
I love that it is the same year and date. I wanted to do 8.7.15 today, but we came across some obstacles, our bishop couldn't marry us, ect.
SO, then we were headed for marriage-
Here is the whole reason I am writing all this-
1. I always knew baby boy would help me find my husband. He did.
2. Baby boy is our ring bearer!
I AM SO SO SO SO HAPPY. He really is the cutest, smartest, sweetest, handsome and perfect little guy ever.
We are going to try having kids right away and I hope they are all just like him. CUTE in and out.
I know this is tmi but i have to share. My period is going to set us for ovulation on our wedding night! AHHHH SO HAPPY and scary.
I hope we get prego because little boy is such a miracle and any form of fertility challenges BREAKS my heart. That is one thing that placing a baby taught me. I just think it is so unfair but also I would never have learned what I did if it weren't for that experience. God was with me for that and His companionship I would never trade.
Baby boy- I can't wait to see you at my wedding. I can't wait to hug you and kiss you and I hope you laugh that CUTE laugh. I love you forever, thanks for being my little prince for so long.
XOXOX
Mama alice
