Thursday, July 25, 2013

two weeks four days post

1178 views

Milk Has Finally Dried Up

Bleeding Has Eased Up

Im In And Out Of Depression And Acceptance, Mostly In AcceptAnce.
Grateful And Feelin The Spirit Strongly

My Phones Crazy...


Sunday, July 14, 2013

The birth story

My mom had arrived on Friday, we went and got dinner and ate it on the top of the world. Saturday my Aunt and Uncle drove up and we went to a car show.

Sunday, July 7th woke up, went to church. We were taking it easy and getting antsy around the house. We went on a walk which I walked very slow because I love walking slow when my hips are going to split. We started on a drive and ended up driving around looking at houses and peoples yards and farms. It was lovely. I was in no pain until I had to go to the bathroom. Whew that is the worst. We drove home and went to the bathroom and then ate some water melon. She konked out and I was texting my sister at 11 and I fell asleep. At 11:21PM I woke up having to go the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and what do you know, I couldn't go. I wasn't feeling so good so I started the bath. Got in the bath and was laying there and had a contraction. Oh whatever I was thinking. I have had this before. Then a while later another. by an hour I had a total of 4. I looked at my cell phone and was in shock. I had four contractions. My sister had texted me just as I fell asleep to text her when my labor started. Boy did she know what was coming or what? I sent her a text, I think it is coming now.

I threw up all the watermelon I had eaten and that was nasty and gross and 30 oz of water.

I sent my cousin and my birth coach, she daddy that I had these pains. I started to have another so I raced to the tub and had another. It was so nice to be in the tub for them. I couldn't feel them at all. I woke up my mom. Is this normal? She said start timing them. In a perfect world we have a app on our phone that has the contractions on it. BEST APP EVER. I had uses it a couple times before.

June 17th was my first time thinking I could be in labor. I had two that day 23:23:47 apart from the other.

July 2nd I had 2 stronger ones I timed, they were 5 minutes apart and nothing really happened after those.

July 8th was different

Time Duration, Interval
12:46, 45, 99:99:99
12:51, 31, 4:35
12:56, 1:26, 4:48
1:02, 48, 5:56
1:07, 57,5:21
1:16, 41, 9:03
1:21, 19, 5:08
1:26,51,5:17
1:33, 1:08, 6:46
1:39, 1:04, 5:55
1:44, 19. 4:30
1:45, 23, 1:17
1:49, 37, 3:47

By then my coach had been called and she made it. I really just wanted to get in the bath and she said Alice, if this has been going on for this long we really need to go to the hospital. I began running around making sure I had the few other things for my hospital stay. I had made a list of the things to grab that I use on a daily so I could get those. We got everything ready. Got in the car, contraction. I was sad I couldn't walk to the hospital but I was in quite a bit of pain. When we got to the hospital, which is a few blocks away, contraction and I laid in the parking lot. We got upstairs and I knelt on the bench, contraction.

They wheeled me to my room and checked me, I was at 7. SEVEN!! How did that happen I thought. I couldn't help but feel pretty good about myself. I was also starting to bleed more and that was good too. I was in LABOR, there was no turning back. I was kinda in shock. I thought, so many people come to the hospital and they are at a 2 still. I was a seven. Then I didn't care anymore, I just wanted to get in the Jacuzzi. I threw up shortly after getting to the hospital and my cousin did so so good. In between the contrations she scalped massage my head, pain rollered it and was so so soothing. She made the experience so nice. She gave me ice chips and was lovely. As I was having a contraction they put the IV in my arm and didn't stop. That was so so rude and annoying. I kept thinking I want to get in the Jacuzzi. By 3:00 AM  I was free to get in to the Jacuzzi and as I was getting in I had the WORST back labor. This nurse, Kirsha taught my cousin how to do this AMAZING pressure points on my back. THIS SAVED ME and gave my sweet cousin the work out of a life time.

At 4:30 I told my cousin, I can't do it. I think I need the epidural. The favorite nurse came back and said Alice you can do this. You are doing better then anyone I have ever seen do this. I would just close my eyes and breath and I felt so great doing it up until 4:30. She got a book and showed me some positions to try out (she was pictured in the book doing them when she was a prego) and that was REALLY helpful too. We checked my dilation and I was at an 8. The transition. BLAH.

From 4:30 to 6 I labored. I was thinking this was awful. I would whipper to cousin, this is hard, I just can't do this and then the contraction would ease up and I would keep my eyes closed and prepare for the next one. Around 6 a woman dr came in to break the water. She said I was dilated to a 9 1/2. 9 5 she said. I was so happy. I was just about there. The water coming out was kind nasty feeling. SO SO warm and SO SO MUCH. The nurse Kimberly said when you feel like pushing let me know. Kimberly stayed with us the whole time because I was going to be going "natural" or as my lamaze teacher says doing no meds. After a few contractions I told her I was ready. She checked me, pushed some of the cervix to the side and said you are ready, you are at a ten. I did some breathing for those next contractions and said okay, I am ready to push. I had to check that if I started pushing that my Dr would be able to deliver. She would be in at 7 so I should be on perfect time.

6:30 I started pushing. My cousin was on my left side and I had Kimberly on my right. Each time that I was pushing they grabbed a leg and helped count big breath, hold and push 10, 9, 8... 3, 2, 1 exhale, big breath, hold and push 10, 9, 8... 3, 2, 1 exhale and third time hold and push 10, 9, 8... 3, 2, 1 exhale,.

This was the best part of the labor. The contractions HELPED to make the baby come and the pushing wasn't so bad. I was loving this pushing stuff minus being SO SO tired. I did fall asleep during the contractions a couple times earlier. The pushing was really quite nice.

Around 7 the baby started to crown and could see his hair and I got a new nurse. Kimberly who was kinda annoying and stinky went home and I got the nicest calmest nurse. She was lovely. I don't remember her name. Dark hair and calm. Kirsha came back and said she was off but had to see the baby born. My cousin, new nurse and Kirsha are the best cheer leaders around. New nurse called Dr around 6:55 and said I know it is a little early but you have a patient here, Alice and this is her progress. At 7:10 dr walked in. She looked so tired. Bless her heart. She was VERY calm and just sat down. I told her, I waited for her and I was so glad but I wasn't able to walk to the hospital. She just smiled with her cute little fish earrings.

Around 7:15 I said, how much longer do I have to push? They said, if you are doing it like last time it shouldn't be long. They pulled out the mirror and WOW, was that really my body. It looked like a hairy rat was coming out of me, not a baby! I just stared at that.

At 7:25 I got my next contraction and I was staring at the mirror and out came the little monkey arms out and legs out. HE WAS HERE! Cousin cut the cord, GOOD JOB!  They said do you want to hold him? I just said I didn't think I could, he was so so dirty from having pooped inside I had them clean him off, get weighed and cute before holding him. I couldn't help watching him. Although his hair was still full of poop he was the cutest thing ever. They pulled out my placenta and it looked like a football. Pretty cool though too.

Cousin fed him 23 ounces and I called my mom. We got out of bed, WHEW that was rough and I held baby as we went down to my room.

I love him. He is the best baby in the world.

I love group

Every time I walk into group, I see friends, future friends and feel loved. They care about me and want the best for me. They love who I love and want to run over anyone who I don't They tell their heart and soul and remind you, nobody has a perfect life.

I remember going to group and being a little upset that my life was harder and my story was worse then anyone else. As I "grew up" none of us had a easy story to tell. We were all there to listen, love and support.

I love these girls and want them to find the life that they want. I want the girl that is single and living with her boyfriend and baby daddy to have a good life. Even if that means a miracle happens and her boyfriend she believes in so much will stop going out with his friends from 10 PM till 5PM the next day an she doesn't know where he is because he says his phone died although it rings 3 times and then 7 times and he just ignores her and their son... GRR. But I do wish that miracle would happen for her or she would by some miracle leave him and move on.

I hope for the girl who place her baby months ago will be able to find a boyfriend that loves her and wants her happiness.

I love the girl who placed, married the birth father who I LOVE and is going though hardships with her mother passing this week to be happy. I LOVE MY GIRLS AT GROUP. I love them.

One of the girls mentioned that she got done with group and now she only comes every once in a while. I just  love group, I think at some point I will get there, for now, I am in for the long haul. :)

group is the bomb

38, 39 and catch up

946 views

The last few weeks I have been blessed in bigger ways then I ever have. God really loves His children. He is our father and he loves loves us. He watches out for us and even though sometimes we don't know we just can't know. I am now understanding that things happen and though we want to force things we don't get the chance.

When I was a young college girl I had a friend, I call her my BCF, best college friend. One day she said, Alice I haven't written in my journal all week, have you? I couldn't bare to tell her I just wrote in my journal whenever I wanted and not everyday as she had done for many years so I we got out our journals and started writing away. I couldn't be more emotional healthy with that BCF. I kept a daily journal for the next five years. I also let anyone read it who wanted to read it. I told them if they found something they were offended by then it was their own fault and they should have known what they were getting themselves into. I feel the same way about this blog. If you are reading this and it makes you mad or whatever, stop reading this is my Alice journal. I NEED to write in here to get things emotionally sure.

With that said, I have been writing a weekly journal on Sundays of hard copy because sometimes things just need to be written.

Did I ever write about my friend who placed her baby and let me read her journals, she is lovely. She showed me the path to take. She is now engaged to the man of her dreams and I get to be in her wedding in August. She is someone who will always be close to my heart. She is gorgeous, fun, nurturing. She took me on walks to the store and would carry everything back. She held my hand through so much. I love her. A total side note but have you ever been with someone who gets SO SO much attention from the opposite sex? SHE IS THIS GIRL. She has guys swarming her. They come to her, love her fun self and ask her out or get her number AND she doesn't think anything of it. Just a doll that one. I thought those girls were only in the movies, nope. She is your walking beauty queen.


38 weeks.

Lets see that was June 24th. I was still dilated to a one. I thought for sure I was going to have the baby that week. We didn't check for dilation. That week I got things ready at work and was still having the braxton hicks. I still felt pretty good.

All the people who have been mothers started to notice I was pregnant and asking questions. It was kinda nice. I loved talking to them because the ones who asked loved me and I loved them. My bestie and I did a lot of movie watching in my bed. It got to the point the couch was no longer really comfy and I just wanted to be in my bed. I still felt really good though too.

39 weeks.

I was ready to have the baby. I was contracting more and SO SO uncomfortable. I slept with 7 pillows on my bed. So when I would roll over I could have a pillow for in between my knees, supporting the belly and two for my head, the acid was becoming unbearable.

I was measuring 39 CM on the dot as always. My doctor checked me and I was at a 2. Before she checked me she asked if I wanted to strip my membranes. We stripped them and it was quite the bloody mess. I had a 50 percent chance of having the baby in the next 48 hours. We watched the fireworks on the fourth of July and he didn't budge. I was kinda okay with that because my doctor went out of town and wouldn't be back till Monday and I love my doctor. She is perfect for my many questions. Can I go swimming? Can I float the river? Can I film the birth? How do we dry up the milk? Can I walk to the hospital?

I had done my lamaze classes and my birth plan was to walk to the hospital, get there, be at a 10 get my room and then have the baby. Realistically that wasn't going to happen, I was planning on walking to the hospital and then being in labor for 12 hours and having the baby. No medication and as natural as ever through the vagina.

I started to think, I was never going to have the baby.