Monday, May 18, 2015

Happy mother's day to everyone and me


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SO I woke up in Pocatello Idaho. I had a 6 bedroom apartment to myself so naturally my boyfriend came. While he was still sleeping and I was about to cook breakfast I got a call from my baby's mom and my baby. Is he still a baby because he is under 2? He talks and does the cutest stuff. Anyways, they called me and sang me a song.

Happy Mother's day
Happy Mother's day
Happy Mother's day
Happy Mother's day
Happy Mother's day

It was in my head the rest of the day- that sweet boys voice and his sweet mommy. I love them both.

It really melted my heart. It really is the little things.

I told my friend in September about baby boy and she sent me the nicest, thoughtful text.

Happy Mother's Day! I see the love you have for (baby boy) and what a wonderful mom you are to him. Hope you feel loved and appreciated today for the special mom that you are!! Love you!!

My friend that the birth dad told who has been my friend for ages sent one too.

"I woke up thinking about you this morning and wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's day! You are the most selfless kind of mother there is. Love you! I hope your day is great.

My dad wished me a happy mother's day which was SUPRISING and so did my sweet sis.

My cousin got me feet stuff for Mothers day- I JUST LOVE it too. It is from Melaeuca and I recommended it for sure.



and about 15 mintues ago I got this from the babies mom.

I'm just making dinner and watching (baby boy) play with his doggy outside and am overwhelmed with love and gratitude to God for him. Thanks for trusting me to be his mom. Thanks for  serving a mission and being so wonderful to (our common friend and my mission comp that passed) so that we have that connection. Oh my.. I feel like I'm writing a love letter. Ha ha. but seriously I am so grateful for you and what a wonderful birth mommy you are. (baby boy) is the luckiest.


I AM THE LUCKIEST.

I hear stories of other birth moms and the adoptive mom doesn't let the birth mom take pictures with the baby or they don't send pictures. On our end we went over to my friends house for dinner on Saturday and it was so normal. I kissed the heck out of that sweet little boy and my friends little girl too. I just love them both but I just want that sweet baby boy to always know I am so loving him, forever. He is SO SO cute. I miss him each time I am not with him and wish I could be with him always but I am so happy he has a loving environment that he learns Spanish and he grows up with his cousins and he doesn't get bounced around. I always worry that he will one day hate that I did that to him- placed him for adoption but he would hate me worse for bouncing him between two parents and that is one more reason why adoption felt and feels so right.

That is the one thing that I am grateful for. I might feel like my heart is walking on the outside of my body in a whole different zip code but I couldn't be happier for the environment he is growing up in. HE IS SO CUTE.

I am so grateful for open adoption. It is different but it is normal- at least for me.

Happy mothers day to all the woman I know.

Oh that sweet boyfriend of mine made me breakfast the next day and he made sure I got a rose when we went to lunch( we were out of town so we did go out on Sunday) My most favorite part of him was when he came up behind me when he first woke up and hugged me from behind and whispered in my ear, happy mothers day.

I AM A FREAKING MOM- though I feel like a single mom without a baby I am a mom. I get my moments with the sweetest babe in the world and like my other friend said, having a baby is like crack you just want more and your body craves is.

I can't wait till I have a baby and make babies with my baby. a baby being a husband of course.

I dream of that, I never use to till this sweet little boy grew up a body in my belly.

Once again- I love you all. I love this and I love love.

mama alice.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Mothers day night

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I must say one thing- I love my family. The family that lives 30 minutes away. The family that teases me and that I tease. The family that gives the sweetest baby boy, their son and my son loves and true love at that.

Yesterday was PEFECT!

I got to kiss sweet boy all over and he came right to me. Oh that skin, those eyes, that nose, those lips, those hands those everything. I love that sweet kid! So we were eating dinner and I was sitting by him and he was not able to get every last bit of his spaghetti and so I was helping him get it. I reached for his fork and he pulled it away from me and smiled at me. THAT CUTIE, sneaky and tease! Dinner was Hawaiian which is one of my favorites. YUM! His daddy taught him to say "happy day" that voice just makes me want to melt. It is SO cute.

He kept coming over to me at the dinner table and I would lift him up 3 times then he would run back to his room and then come back and I would do it again. It was a BLAST! He kept letting me tickle him and his mom got the cutest little video of it. SO FUN! We just laughed the whole night.

I could listen to that laugh forever.

His bath he was so cute. His mom talked about this rash he had on his bum and he kept saying bum and pointing at it  with a concerned face hahaha so cute. They are teaching him Happy birthday so he can sing it on his birthday which is SO cute. He sings it with his mom and splashes in the bathtub as they sing it and he will say SPLASH.

Happy birthday to you- SPLASH
Happy birthday to you SPLAsh and so on it is so fun and cute.

Then we put him to bed and he kept wrestling with his dad and then he climbed on my belly and was bouncing on it. I couldn't help but think- that belly is where you grew! I didn't say anything.

He also would rotate kisses to all of us which is SO cute and fun.

Oh his mom LOVED the picture. What a relief. I hate when worries get in your way. She is going to hang it in the play room.

When baby boy went to bed we talked for hours and I loved it.

Talked about parenting. Gays, treating everyone equaling. How they are going to deal with people who come into their house. Just good stuff.


I love that family. PERFECT mothers day night.

To my sweet baby boy- I always wonder what you will be like when you get older and when you were born I couldn't help but think you would change the world. You have changed so many worlds already and you don't even know it but you will change more and more. You have wonderful families and love all around you. You are growing up so sweet and kind. I heard you like to bite sometimes and I am grateful you are soft with me and don't bite me. Your teeth would eat me right up and even though I would love your sweet kisses I want to watch you grow up more and more. I am so shocked you aren't taller and I think you will be. I had a dream of you when you are older and I can so see how you are going to be SO fun and yet inquisitive and smart.  You are SO loved. Your mama Alice loves you. Your parents ADORE you and think you are the best thing in the world. I must say- you are. Your my best thing I have ever made! Thanks for letting me grow you buddy. You deserve this life and this life deserves every bit of you in it that we can all get. I miss you already and can't wait to go to the aquarium with you. OH and you speak Spanish! Brilliant! Your sweet mom and dad are growing a little Samuel. It is DARLING! XOXOXOOX

XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOX

mama alice


OH ps- They gave me a cute frame with a picture of baby boy and I and some cute pictures and a dog card. They are truly the best lovers ever. Oh and some chocolate.

What should I do for fathers day?

Oh sometimes I feel like we really all 3 had a baby. He is so much like us. All of us and yet he is so his own. I feel bad that the birth dad will never get to see the beauty of this adoption and that someday when fathers day comes for him he will be all alone without a cute kid thinking he is so funny. But I know that him not being in the picture is the best thing.

Being tossed family to family is not that way to live a life. That I know and God always put in my heart that adoption for baby boy was the best and God knows best.
The peace that came with the  RIGHT family is un explainable. Absolutely perfect and complete.

LOVE YOU ALL!