OKAY- Happy birthday to my baby!
For sure my best birthday for baby boy. It is always good when I didn't want to climb in a hole and wish that I had a baby to kiss and hold so 1 of 2 birthdays and I am thinking next year will be just as great. I have the hope of a future family that I love, that is some of the difference and the emotions aren't quite so fresh.
I have to quote baby's mom because she sent the nicest text
Two years ago you gave birth to the sweetest angel here on earth. Thank you for the blood, sweat and tears of going through child birth. I'm beyond grateful for you. Happy birthday to our little stinker ;)
Oh my goodness, isn't she SO kind? Love her.
Then on 7/11 she sent this
What can I say. It's 7/11 happy Slurpee Day! And the best day of my life. I'm thinking about the first moment I got to hold (baby boy). He was so small and skinny! A little monkey with his dark hair and Mohawk. I was beyond joyful and yet saddened at the same time. I knew we would be happy , but with that joy there would be great heartbreak on your side. I didn't want to put you through that, but there was no other way. Now that I am looking back I can see how happy you are and it makes me even more grateful. thank you for doing the hardest thing that anyone would ever have to do. I love you, (dad) loves you and (baby boy) love you! Thanks for choosing us.
Isn't she a heart melt!?
I must agree. I knew it was what I was supposed to do but part of me sometimes hoped to keep little boy all to myself. that wouldn't be true and it wouldn't be fair to him. I see him so happy and I love it. I see him with parents, grandparents and loving family all around and I know he is loved like blood.
He will forever be part of me and I will forever have a little part of me that feels it isn't near me and I will always have a spot in my heart for children born in 2013 my little boys friends.
I miss him always and yet am comforted that he is so loved and taken care of.
He is growing up to be such a cutie. I went out of town and wasn't able to see him so my BF and I went and took a gift to him and I played a bit with him.
He is really the sweetest and I almost forgot, we went to the rodeo with him and I had to tell my cousin about being a birth mom and she as in shock but so good to baby boy and SO very comfortable. I love all my family and friends being so warm and inviting.
She kept saying how shocked she was.
I think now I will do, oh you didn't know that. jk I won't.
The secret is at large, that is for sure.
I am fine with it. I use to have a count of who knew now I have no idea....
I love my baby boy- who will forever be my baby boy. I love that I am able to be secure in my life as I watch my sweet BF and his little girl as she gets tossed back and forth it is VEEEERRRRY heart wrenching and it confirms to me that baby boy has the best of both worlds. He will forever have me and he will forever have his lovely parents who are really the best.
LOVES all around.
Baby boy happy birthday dearest! You are forever in my heart and I will forever be your mama. I hope you always want me in your life.
XXOOXOX
Mama Alice
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