he is a boy, due in may

Yesterday we found out what we were having in May, a boy. I have been BEYOND happy and very excited to have a sweet, little boy.

I have heard some things that haven't been nice and I just want to make sure that people of my blog know not to say these things to other birth moms. "It will be so much more fun when you get to keep the baby" hellllo- I choose to place little boy into the arms of 2 parents of safety and 2 parents that God trusted and knew to have this boy enter their lives forever.

This is how it was supposed to be. Having a baby out of wedlock is the most emotional hard thing I have ever been through and parts of it are still very hard and uncomfortable but we get through this. Last night I dreamed about being a birth mom. It was very intense and emotionally painful that now I am blogging about it so I don't forget these times because I want to remember what i have been through and these things are all apart of something.

I dreamed I got prego again out of wedlock with my x boyfriend bryce and that I was married now to my current husband but I didn't know what to do. I was talking to my husband and told him we can pretend it is our baby or we can place him in baby pop rocks family.

It is so so so hard on me that baby pop rocks family wants more kids and are not getting them. HOW HARD! I so wish I could do more for them because in a way I feel so tied to them and their family but I have to do what is best for my family.

Lots of feelings and so much love, pure love from my heart.

I know God lives and loves us and wants our happiness. I know that He cares about His children and he whispers into the hearts of mothers and fathers everywhere. I know that this little boy, my first with my husband will be loved without measure and I hope that little boy i had in my tummy years ago knows that I loved him and his parents love him as if they were in their tummy's.

God is good, enjoy the journey you are in. I am going to enjoy my journey and be happy with what I have and grateful.

XOOXOXO

Mama Alice