FINALIZATION

It is final. The baby is tied to his family.

I haven't been to worried about today. I didn't feel the need to go or be there. I do feel like I missed out now but I think I will always feel that way to some extent. I miss out on his first solid eating. I miss out. THAT IS OKAY and though I think it is kinda sad. It isn't, he is with his family. His parents.

I love saying that. It has never felt more real then now.

I have been happy and sad and overwhelmed with emotion when it comes to Saturday. Which is his sealing and the next day is his blessing.

I just don't want people to say stupid things to me and hurt me. I don't want to snap on them and I for sure don't want to hurt anyone when it comes to that but I just am WORRIED. My lovely boyfriend is coming. He will be there for me to hold his hand and hug him and I guess that is really why I am so ok.

Ever since my BF I have felt the sting leave.

Everyday I had that sting till the BF. Stuff with the baby is now different. It is more settled.


This morning I thought about the couple waking up and going to the court and who they would see and what they would wear. I thought about what would be said. I thought about them. I feel like I am finally thinking of someone besides me. I love them and I have wanted this for baby boy for a while  now. NOW HE IS  THEIRS while on earth! I can't wait till Saturday. For time here and in Heaven ;)

I am so happy! No tears just a smiling heart ;)