the first meeting and meeting Charity

I was apprehensive about meeting Charity. I did feel like I was being tossed around a little and I felt so loved and supported by the first two that I met.

I walked into the end of the meeting. Long enough to see two other very girls pregnant, I was thinking how I would never be able to hide that from my coworkers. Then all the sudden _________ said that we should all introduce ourselves again.

Everyone was looking at me.

I haven't told hardly this amount of people and especially in a group setting.

This was horrible.....

"Hi my name is Alice."

___________ asks "How far along are you?"

I lost my mind... ugh how far was I?... I can't see the doctor till I am ten weeks and that appointment is coming up.. ughh " I am around 8 or 9 weeks, I think" How do I not know the answer to that question?

"Are you single parenting or are you placing?" asked by one girl who was extremely pregnant

"I am planning on placing because I don't want to deal with the father the rest of my life, he is crazy"

As I am turning red in the face all I can think is I am telling all 15 of these strangers about my life. I haven't even told my mother.

Then everyone went around the room and told a bit of their situation, it was a very nice feeling. They all had their own situation and differences. I loved them but wasn't comfortable enough to talk to them.

Charity and I were supposed to meet after the group meeting. She wasn't in the meeting. Then she said hi and we went to another room and she told me to make myself comfortable and asked if a girl with blonde hair an intern could join us. I said yes.

I didn't feel a connection with Charity. She seemed to not believe me and want to push me.

She asked why I wanted to place and what benefits I saw.

I told her why, it is the obvious answer to me. I don't want the baby to grow up around John who smokes weed, drinks and wants to raise the baby as friends.

We talked about a lot of stuff. She then told me that I should tell my mom. I don't want to tell my mom I told her. She said eventually I will need that support on a hard day. I couldn't decided if I liked Charity and as I was thinking that. She said that her job is to help support me and see if I am making decisions for the right reasons.

I told her I wasn't sure if I liked her or not. She kinda smiled and so did i. I

By then my medicine was wearing off and I was not feeling good.

Charity brought me some hard copies of people in the area that are looking to adopt.

She said that this one girl looked like me. I thought so too.

When I got home I read all these books. The last one and the girl that looked like me was my favorite. I emailed Charity.

She emailed me back.

I liked her now. She seemed to say all the right things on the email and make me feel better about it all. She even thought it would be good for me to contact the girl that looked like me. I emailed Charity back and I haven't heard from her. I am waiting and praying to know if this is right.