Wonderful mama kisses

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I honestly have the best set up ever. I feel so loved by how beautiful my situation is. Honestly though, it isn't about me, it is just part of the beauty. I was supposed to get together this week with the family but BOTH of our schedules aren't working out and as selfish as it is I hope I have a date on Saturday and I need to focus on myself as much as I would love to stalk the baby and his family because in general they are by far one of the cutest adorable families and my heart is there..... BUT I need to find my lover.

The family told me that they pray for me each night to find a husband. I love them. PLEASE everyone join in the cause. I am really willing to do whatever the Lord wants though. I know it is safest for my heart, body and mind to heal and be at a good place with grieving before anything but I think with someone and with being a nice strong( strong in the Lord and in stature would be nice ;) ) man, excuse me, real man would be super nice to be WITH.

The lovely babies mom text me and asked if she could come get a mama alice kiss. I LOVE her. It was the best "smoke break" ever. At first it was nice to be with baby and I needed some times with him. I just haven't got to hold him and kiss him enough the past times I have seen him and it felt good to do that. Then I missed her. She melts my heart and treats me like an equal. I looooove her.

I think adoption is hard, I think everything is hard. Being a mom is hard, watching someone be a mom is hard. Honestly though this is the best situation ever.

Dear baby,

It was so nice to see you yesterday. Your mom said that you are going to print some of the letters off from this and I wanted to make sure you know how loved you are. I have so many friends that love me and took care of me and they now ask about you. They ask if you are doing good and if your parents are wonderful. Do you know how loved and wanted you are. SO SO SO many families wanted you. I wanted you and through the searching and the praying our sweet, wonderful and merciful Father in Heaven planted your parents in my mind. I KNOW without any doubt whatsoever that you were meant to be with them.

I tell my friends how I get to see you and hold you. I love your cute feet and I love your sweet cheeks, strong hands, blue eyes, pretty tongue, long body, adorable belly button and pretty skin. I love your soul. When you were in my belly I didn't get to see your beautiful body I felt it and soon came in tune with you. This is what you loved the most, church, church meetings like institute which is a church meeting during the week, church music from the organ, you love your right foot rubbed, you always would rub it against my right side almost by my ribs, you never kicked those, thank you ;) you loved healthy food and you loved some of my friends. One of my friends always wanted to feel you kick but you would always fall asleep whenever she was around haha.

You didn't love scary movies. They always woke you and I would have to stroke your foot so you could calm down.

You are a precious baby with many gifts and you are full of hope and love. I felt it with you. The spirit loved being with you and so we had to make good choices so it wouldn't leave us. The spirit was constantly with us till you wen't with your mom and dad and I went with my mom. The spirit has not left me unless I have chosen to have him leave because I was so sad that I wasn't with you and then I got a blessing from your dad and the spirit came with me again.

Listen to the Spirit baby. He will tell you who needs you and where you are needed. Please always keep the spirit with you. You have loved the spirit since conception or since you came with me in my body.

I love you and can't wait to see you again.

Oh and I wanted to tell you this. I know one day I will have a husband and children. I want you to know you gave me that hope and love and desire stronger then I have ever had it. You changed me. You made me a better person. You made me love more deeply then ever. I will love my husband and I will love my children and you will always be as loved as my other children. Please know that I love you. Please know that your parents love you.

Whenever you want to know anything ask them and they can ask me or you can.

Baby, adoption is beautiful.

When I was a young girl I loved to read. I read the most in my county many times and I couldn't stop. I read books about people who were adopted and always wanted to me. Once I even thought I was. HAHA my mom thought I was going crazy. The truth is, we are all adopted because I went from Heavenly Father to my moms belly and you went from Heavenly Father to my belly to your mamas arms.

It makes me sad sometimes that you weren't able to be in your mamas belly. It bothers me a great deal because I loved having you in my belly so much but know that she would have done anything to have you in her belly too. She wanted you to grow there too. I think she has come to peace that you needed to come to me and I have come to peace almost that you needed to change me too.

I imagine you reading this and I hope you understand and have the spirit with you or after you read it the spirit burns in your soul just how it burns in my soul as I type.

You were born so strong and you will forever be strong as you choose to be faithful. Please always be faithful to the Lord for He will never leave you.

I love you forever my sweet boy who I love,

Mama Alice