We have all been that judgmental person. We have all had a moment where that was our sisters best friends cousin.
I get responses sometimes
1. think I am a hoe
Suddenly I want to start screening them and hey, while we are at it why don't we compare who is the better person. Rip your heart out on the imaginary scale....Okay I will go first. This week I went to the temple, this week I gave a friend who was walking a ride, I made dinner for someone, I made smoothies, I wrote a thank you card. I took 4 woman to time out for woman all week, I let to guests stay with me. That is doing their laundry, hosting them... this week I... set my friend up on two dates, I did my cousins dishes, I helped a 4 year old. I gave a 6 year old a piggy back ride. I repented. I... loved, I caught myself in pride.
All because you think I am a hoe bag, slut, loose daughter of God you are going to miss the best parts of me. You are going to miss the part of me that will love you. You are going to not get invited to my awesome wholesome parties, you are going to miss it.
Really to those who think I am some hoe bag, I am sorry but the sadness is on you for those that you judge isn't a label on me it is a reflection on you.
Unfortunately I use to be this person. Instead of getting the door, smiling and loving the "prego single girl" I looked the other way. You might as well said I stoned her.
2. think I am the most wonderful woman in the world. Seirously they are ready to buy my dinner and just thank me over and over. They are those who have joined the adoption world. They see it and because so they get to see the BEST parts of me. I want to love them as much as they love me and I want to reinforce how beautiful adoption is. How even though I placed my baby I AM SO HAPPY and with our open adoption that we are able to be SO HAPPY. I honestly never really know how my family feels about it all but I really feel like it is so so great.
In all our visits there has been one visit where I just couldn't focus on anything but him. I wanted to talk and hear about the family but I couldn't even focus all I could focus on was him. Mostly I feel like I am visiting my friends and their baby. It makes me so so happy.
That is another thing. When people love adoption I want to share with them how warm my heart and soul is. I want to them to feel God's love. I want to laugh with them and cry with them. I want to just love.
I can't seem to put it in words that well but when people love adoption I am able to show them my true spirit. The spirit that I hide from the world.
3. are curious The curious makes me put up a front. I don't know what they are going to say that will possibly hurt my feelings and truly I don't need to care what others think but I think that it makes me happy when I change one thought. One thread. Open one more heart to adoption. I like to answer their questions and not really focus on anything I want to share. I kinda treat them like a child's questions. I don't want to over stimulate and flood their minds but I do want them to know a tiny bit.
Really I don't mind any of them. It is just more work for me to go through the pride. It makes me sad to have to "prove" myself or take a step off the tower that has been built under my feet after being convinced I should be worshiped or those that are curious and need a 2 minute explanation rather then a 2 hour like I want to give.
What would my advice be to those who know, just love the birth mom. Love the adoptive couple and the sweet baby. Love them. When you love you are able to be everything. You are able to be an instrument in Gods hands.
Most people are closed to the idea of open adoption. I don't blame them. I was one of them. It just takes time to join the adoption world and see the beauty. I have a friend and I am pretty sure she is trying to be so so very open but it is hard on her to think it being so open.
Honestly our situation is perfect for us. We have communication and boundaries and we love another. If they wanted a break from me as they have asked for I will give it to them just as they respect me the same way. I JUST LOVE THEM. Baby is so blessed to have his parents. I wish I could take all the stereotypes and worries and bully's away from him but I can't. He will have to fight for himself. It worries me that one day he will have to defend me. That he will have to stand up for his parents. We do live in a wicked world and we also live in a world where people are learning just how I am learning. I do't have all the answers I just have some of them because God has whispered them to my soul.
May we all love another, no matter what situation they are in.
For we are nothing if we don't have charity.
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not a charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of a prophecy, and understand allb mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the a poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
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