hmmm sad

2058

I can't wait till I can say all the heart ache is behind me.

I don't know what it is but this week is a very very hard week. I usually love my institute class. I didn't and couldn't go. I laid in my bed and just took off all my clothes and sulked. I thought of every sad depressing thing and texted people and some texted back but then I had had it. I called a girl friend and we went to a movie at 6:40 PM. It did help.

I think I need to get another blessings. I just feel ill on the inside. I feel like all hope is lost. I don't have a reason anymore. I feel like I keep trying to pretend I have things going on and making myself busy but really what an empty life if I don't have anyone to share it with.

FIRST comes your husband then your children. That's what we learned about in my church class this month.

I don't have either. I am a single mom with no children. It is so sad. It is truly heart breaking.

I am in no place to meet someone when I feel like this. It takes all my energy to get out of bed in the morning these days. Something is wrong with me but I just keep trying to fight it off.

For a long time now I call my mom at 8:30 when I am up and going to work.

Do I go to work out of duty these days? I do love my job but this old worker that I fired last month wrote some nasty things that I just can't get out of my head.

I keep trying to distract my mind. Now I am done doing that. I just want to be sad. I want to be sad I don't have a family. I want to be sad that people don't like me. I want to be sad. So I will.

Unfortunatelyw I am not good at just laying around at home and i tend to get out and do things to make myself happy again although I don't enjoy doing it at first. I keep getting my hopes up to just have them crushed.

Nobody likes me. I really think I am good at making things appear how I want them to appear.

today has been a tough day.

My spirit is just sad and so is my body.

These hormones making me want to physically be close to someone and hold someone and be held are just TOOOO much!