thoughts and deep in them too

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I have been getting phantom kicks. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I get them and it makes me kinda sad.

Today i saw the baby.

He is so cute and fell asleep in my arms. It was lovely.

In the womb I use to rub his right foot and I love to rub it to calm him down. I also love to rub his forehead. I use to rub my belly a lot and I love to touch him. After I go see him I want to hold and hug something. My wonderful asistant is tolerant of this.

Today was a great visit. It was so much like seeing a friend. Both of them.

I went to my church class tonight. I am still so stuck on my sin of last year but this past Sunday I went to a really great meeting called a fireside. It was amazing. It made me feel so much like, I can do this. I can forget. I will forget. I have started a new path.

Something I REALLY like what he said was when we break the Law of Chasity we are dis respecting marriage.

This makes me so very sad with myself and very happy with the understanding that this is what is going on.

My problem is breaking the of Chasity is my sin. It is something that Satan tempts me with. When I go to weddings or spend time with couples who are happy. I want and drive fore the PHYSICAL affection that comes from being married.

I easily can be satisfied. By doing physical things with guys who don't matter to me emotionally. But when it comes to guys I really want a future with I am more so careful, not always as of lately.

I cuddled with a guy I really care about. He has a house, cars, great job, wonderful emotional connection. The problem I have with him is I don't know what is wrong with him.

My mom is calling me.

Well, I don't respect marriage. gotta jet

I love you each, Alice