0 or 20

“They had always dreamed of a large family but have now realized that they would be equally blessed to have even one child.” 
― Jane Green, Another Piece of My Heart

I was just reading quotes about adoption and remembered this from my date on Friday. Best date ever. I want the guy to be my bestie. He doesn't know I am a birth mom

We were playing would you rather.

He asked would you rather have zero kids or 20?

Easy answer- 20

He didn't like how easy that was for me to answer.

He asked again, how about 1 or 20?

Easy answer- 20

He then said okay how about 1 or 14 and you can adopt.

I told him I would never adopt. I would rather go through 14 years of being pregnant then ever adopt. Adopting is amazing but I just don't want to ever take a baby from a mom. I really think I would die. I haven't ever thought about this that much. I am SO grateful that they took the baby from me. They aren't baby stealers. Especially with our story, I haven't  shared that on here, I don't think. I don't want to. BUT they loved me so much to take him. Although I can see how... okay but I really would want to be the adoptive mom that they are for me... this is coming off wrong. I also like this quote.

“Some adventures should never be repeated.” 
― Mike L. Hopper, The Wayward Gifted: Broken Point

I think this sums it up for me. I know some people have to adopt and adopt some more. I like this quote

“Even though you weren't born to us, you grew in our hearts. We will be forever connected because love is what makes a family.” 
― Deanna Kahler, From Pain to Parenthood: A Journey Through Miscarriage to Adoption

I really wish I could have millions of kids and populate the world. I can't. I did it once. Once is more then enough.

My mom said something else. She said you loved the babies mom and that is why you did that for her. She said having the baby is the easy part. I really think so too. Babies mom and dad DO SO MUCH for baby. They really do. I am eternally grateful for the love they have for him. He isn't their blood son but honestly. In some pictures I do see them in him. I wish I could take away their heart ache.

The mom sent me the nicest text. I keep replaying it over and over in my head. We will be your anchor if you will be ours. You are my anchor. Thank you. I think of you all at least once a day.

I really hope I didn't say anything offensive. I have some half thoughts on here.

I also must say, I am sad I don't get a husband to talk about this with. I am grateful I have my friends to talk to. Thank you, mom, sister, friends, adoptive couple.

I LOVE YOU-

Alice


I have been thinking about the book. Am I willing to write a book? Can I commit myself to that?

My selfish reasons is more time with the mom. She is amazing. I love her.

second, do I want to be alice or do I want to be me?

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/books/index.php

I want to research this sometime.

Birth moms blogs
http://www.thehappiestsad.com/  I started reading. I like her.

http://www.americaadopts.com/birth-mother-blogs/