1000 dollars

I like to joke but really I think of the different people who have had an influence on me and why I am pregnant. I have done nothing but try to live a life that I can find a man that I love and will love me till the end.

I have this joke that people who led me to this situation owe me 1000 dollars and that I am going to write some letters to these people. Somehow the 1000 dollars would compensate for this heart ache. Mostly it is just funny to think if I really would write these letters and ask them to send a check in the mail.

Dear x boyfriend who dated me 2 years and then bought me a ring and didn't ask me to marry you,

You owe me 1000 dollars.

Dear guy who doesn't want to date and only be friends yet will come over everyday and confess your love a little then I confess mine alot then you say you feel like I am cornering you and then we are just friends then you tell your family I am prego and then invite me out to spend a weekend with you

You owe me 1000 dollars

Dear friend that is single and must have doomed us both to being single,

You owe me a 1000 dollars

Dear birth dad who stayed up so late with me then asked if he could take my first time away when you had done that a million times and then you are a jerk and super hard to connect with and doesn't want to place the baby for adoption. 

You owe me a 1000 dollars for ten years.

Lets be honest, I got myself to this situation and I have to deal with it. I don't think that blaming anyone besides myself will get me anywhere and I need to just repent and forgive myself. I started this post a while ago and never posted it.

I was really serious about it then, I am not as much anymore.