forget me not

365 views. MY oh MY! I would laugh so hard if one person was just continuing to come back to the page just to make the views higher. LOL That would kill me. I just gave my blog to two of my best friends so maybe they are the ones racking up the views? Either way, WELCOME!


Things I don't want to forget:

1. Baby boy pop rocks. WHAT A NAME!? He likes to move at 12 AM, 3 PM and whenever I take a bath. I don't know if he hates the bath or loves it but I assume he loves it because I love it. When I was at a church class last night he moved around like he was on a jungle gym or as if he was spinning like he was in the dryer.

2. He is a boy. I am so amazed that I have a boy in my tummy. Seriously, how is another sex inside of me.

3. I want the family to love the baby before he is born. My friend was telling me about when she adopted and how with her first she didn't have the opportunity to be able to connect with the birth mom so when the baby came, it was harder for her to connect. With her second mom she was there for the dr appointments, (dang the roads) she was there for most things and was a she daddy. She said because she loved birth mom 2 so much connecting with baby 2 was really easy. My c family is doing so well at doing "their job" they keep in contact with me and as the post yesterday, the feelings are mutual. ;) We both like to text another. Although I text my best friend waayyyy more. We have known another for 6 years so that makes a difference and she doesn't have a husband or a class or 2 year old. I am happy with the amount of texting, emailing we do. As always off the subject a tiny bit. The family went shopping for baby boy on Saturday. Isn't that sweet. Good job family!

4. Baby boy doesn't like sweets. I eat them and I want to die. Either baby doesn't like them or pregnant body doesn't. Also milk makes me want to die.

5. I lost twenty pounds from November to December and have kept off the weight. My tummy is shrinking. I can't eat very much in one sitting. I can't eat dairy or I am so sick I have to lay down for 3 hours and the sight of milk products make me want to die.

6. I am going to appreciate my husband when I am a prego again. I also was talking to bestie last night while I was doing my nails and although I AM happy right now. I am going to be so THANKFUL to have a husband on the next time. Baby boy is super nice to have with me ALL the time. But these vivid dreams I have scare me and I wish I had a husband to touch next to me when I got so scared my heart is going to beat out of my chest, (that is the first time that has ever happened) I had to really calm myself down and just relax and breath. Currently I just have my two pillows on the side of me and I wish they were a husband but (baby is moving) I just really want to remember that I am thankful for my husband. When I had my guy friend here he was so good to me and although he would never admit it he was a pseudo husband. Maybe that is why I fell madly in love, he would take me on walks even when I wanted to die or bring over the Katy Perry movie on Thanksgiving and make me laugh and almost cry, he would recognize in walmart when I thought I might throw up from all the smells in the grocery store just by a glance of my face. Now he is gone and I go with my friends shopping. I love my girl friends because of so many reasons too. Like when we walked to the grocery store on Saturday on the way back recent bestie said I will carry that, your pregnant (baby is moving) and she says that with everything. I guess some people (baby moved) think that prideful way but I am MORE then happy to let someone help me because I would want to do the same for them and I would hope we would all treat a prego like this. Last night bestie almost sacrificed herself in the snow so I wouldn't slip. I have slipped and fell 3 times already. It is a miracle baby is healthy. After I slip I wait to see if I bleed.... it is like waiting for your period to start as a 12- 14 year old I started January of my 8th grade year and I was DEVASTATED. It really is scary though to think that all this time I have been sick and gone through SO many emotions and picked a family just to loose the baby that we all love so much. Ya so I want a husband that will hold my arm and carry the groceries in so we can protect the baby. I want a husband to sleep next to, when I am scared. I hope he doesn't hog the bed. I want a husband who I can love.

7. Seven means complete, I like doing lists of 7. (baby moved) so I want to remember how hard it has been. How hard it is when I had to force myself to eat something, drink something, wake up to come to work, get up and smile, throw up on a time schedule, go grocery sopping. How hard it was when people weren't supportive and how hard it is when I feel so alone on a night alone and nobody answers their phones or texts and I lay in bed a little bit sad. I don't cry because it just doesn't seem logical. Or how this morning I coughed and almost threw up so I had to lay down and breath and breath and breath till my tummy wasn't upset. I want to remember the sacrifice that I made for this baby to come to earth and grow a body, in my tummy. It really is fun now that I am not a sicky and that I know he is a boy and I feel him move when I am slightly upset.

Once again, I am sure there are mistakes. I can't seem to read them over because they get longer and they get more descriptive or sometimes I take out stuff.

So here you go RAW.

Alice