sad, angry, replace

1511 VIews



I'm still grieving or i kicke it in.

It started with first wanting to be the babys mom. not to replace his mom but just take care.of him. I tried to make myself stop.thinking that but i couldn't.

i took a bath, them got more sad. the last time i took a bath, he was.inside me.

then i thought of everyone who would donate a sperm so i could get pregnant again. i can't do that again.

I'm.sad.

i want a blessing.

I'm.mad at the family. i went from.wanting tohelp them to being mad.all my.thoughts are not logical. I'm mad I'm not married  that three rest of my life I'll grief this baby boy. tha when i miss him it doesn't matter what i want.

i would go into labor all over again just tohave him for my three days again.

ughhh writing isn't helping either.

heavenly father, I've beenpraying the past hour.

help me

help

mountains are hard.

I'mgoing to start distancing myself.it's the safest way.....

help meheavenly father