still sad

sadam terribly Ssthese are normal feelings from what my grief book says.
wantin to replace

being mad

being sad

i just woke up from a awful awful dream. my emotions are on fire.

i am still terribly sad. my heasourt hurts. my soul hurts

my reality is so skewd

my fear is the birth dad will be mad i didn't give him the baby, come back and rape me  force me to give him the next baby.

I'm not goingto letthathappen or anything like it but that's my reality right now

i just want my baby..... i am  in all stsges of grief.

this hurts soooooo much.

i shouldn't post these, especially incasethe family reads but i really am sad

i think it's good to remember this.

I'm in.denial. i want replaceme.t

I'm in anger. I'm angry atfhe birth dad and thefamily.

i am in guilt and bargain.. I'm goingthrough every if and why

im depressed

okay.so.three of the five

i.do want out

i.need a blessingsooooooooo mich.

i texted the mom last night, she.didnt respond so.shes is probably sleeping and the dad is too

i.texted.the cousin, no response

i need a blessing.

I'll ask my bishop today or cousin

or friend

I'm meant to feel this.

it will be okay.... right?